The slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a team who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

The Northside Angels trudge onwards to 0-6 this week, being blessed by Gibb’s game off and the certainty of another loss in the books!!

The rest of the league had some shakeups out of the above ordinary status quo:

Outlaw Nation clawed their way back to .500.

River Gypsies are looking aggressive and poised.

And the Biggest:

Kingmakers experience their first loss since Week 13 of the 2024 season. That’s 9 Ws to their name in a row, including a championship! What a run, and one I’m sure the Kingmakers will quickly re-establish!

Now to the recap, hopefully inspired by the great Chaucer and A Knight’s Tale!

Northside Angels vs. Big City Hillbillies

One was hoping ole Northside Angles would change his stars this week against the Big City Hillbillies, but alas he did not. He is still a lowly thatcher, putting up one of his worst weeks of the year.

NSA was led by his QBs, with Jones (22.48) and Dak (22.34) virtually tied and Ja’marr Chase (20.10) showing life with the Elite Dragon slinging dimes against Green Bay. Alas, we missed out on the funniest possibile outcome there. After those 3, it was a serious down week with negative play from the Eagles Def (-1.32), and Sutton (2.20), Stevenson (1.80) and Gibbs (7.00) scoring 11 points all together. The math inclined will notice there 4 players scoring a combined 9.68 points. Trudge on!

The Big City Hillbillies continued their ride to the playoffs with a respectable 131 points. Bijan crushed the NSA hopes of a sub-6-point game with 32.80 points and Njigba scored 26.20 to really just elevate over the NSA studs.

Bijan is so good. That 80 yarder was amazing to watch, especially since I knew I could go to bed!

After that it was just Herbert (18.76) and Love (14.96) who hit double digits besides the Seahawks D (11.04). It was a respectable outing but nothing special for BCH and NSA just could not take advantage.

Outlaw Nation vs. HAMR’d in the Stands

Outlaw Nation has overcome a rough start to get back to 3-3, though the PF math is a bit soft for our ole OG Champ of Champs.

Patrick Mahomes (31.48) continues his reign of terror over the league as our QB1 and Player1 for the year. Seems well worth the money at this point! Pickens (27.3) was fed heavily this week but it could get shaky with Lamb back (for the love of god pls). With those two, ON had enough to take the win with only Olave and Henry getting above 10 points. ON has also spiraled a bit in the group chat so we shall see if he can survive the injuries and Tua’s (6.6) brain damage!

HAMR’D was led by the AFC North (and former AFC North Players) this week, but as anyone can tell you that’s just asking for pain. 19.64 from Mayfield and 18.76 from Flacco were up first and 17.50 from Metcalf. His beloved Steelers D even put up 11.29! But it was not enough with Johnson putting up only 1.50 points as a TE and everyone else being below 10 points! At least you are still 3-3!

Fulton Jail Inmates vs Kingmakers

The end of an era! A very one-sided era of Kingmakers dominance. But like the san culottes, the Inmates came for the King and succeeded!

Our heroes of the season, the Inmates came out blazing with Drake Maye (27.24) as he continues to inspire dread in the league of a resurgent Patriots QB. After that, the Inmates had the Raiders Def (quite funny linkage there) score 17.50 points.

Now one would think that having your Def be your second highest scorer would not be great, but the FJI had 3 more players score more than 15 points! McMillan (16.4), Williams (15.60), and Goff (16.82) were quite the extension of solid play and locked the victory for the Inmates. I think the Inmates would prefer some more points from his RBs, but a W is a W!

The Kingmakers were betrayed by their lauded pick, Justin Fields (4.90) this week. Well not as much betrayed, but Fields just revealed themselves as terrible again as he was not playing the NSA. This sub-5 point game was enough to combine with sub-5 point games from Allen (4.7) and Odunze (4.2), and the Packers D (3.64) to offset the outstanding Dowdle (31.9) game and the now re-established McCaffrey (20.90) – I really think the 49ers got in contact with those Etsy Witches.

Onto Cincinnati (also has anyone been following the UNC drama?)

Troll Hunters vs. River Gypsies

One of the higher scoring battles of the week had the River Gypsies winning in dominant fashion over the Troll Hunters by 150.73 to 121.53!

The River Gypsies get up to 4-2 on the back of a balanced attack. None of his players scored over 25 points, but he only had 2 players score under 10! Jonathan Taylor (21.70) continued trucking his opponents with 123 yards and a TD, followed by McBride (21.2) continuing to be the TE2 (the Gypsies have the TE1 and TE2, what a draft). Darnold then had a smooth 20.00 as he continues to light it up in Seattle. What could have been Vikings fans!

The Troll Hunters bounced back pretty well from their re-name week with respectable 121.53 points, but it was not enough!

The highlight of his week was watching a man commit violence against his own brain with 30 points from Cam Skattebo. This guy is hilarious, and also a good pong player based on a video I saw where he basically celebrity shot it blind.

After Skattebo, the Trolls had J. Daniels (21.64) and Ladd (19.50) pop off, but that was about it besides Jeanty (15.6). Too many 5 and sub-5 point games to really put up a fight against the highest scorer of the week.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Putt-Putt Bogey Boys vs. Twin City Tree Cats

Game of the week between the Boys and the Cats! Since A Knight’s Tale is a romance, we shall pit the two love interests of the movie against each other and I will arbitrarily (based upon multiple viewings) decide who Will Thatcher should have gone for!

The Lady Jocelyn (Tree Cats) put up the 3 highest points of the week at 146.85, but fell wanting against their opponent. Jocelyn’s RB and WR duo of Josh Jacobs (RIP) and Drake London put up an amazing 29.50 and 26.80, respectively. And Drake almost had another TD which would have won the week for the Lady. Dart (23.60) was phenomenal once again, and has clearly been inspired by his CTE brethren to grind it out. After that, Jocelyn was bolstered by a dual TE threat of LaPorta (16.5) and Warren (18.3).

Lady Jocelyn was great. She had great vibes, and excellent performance, but again, just found a little wanting.

So, we move to our victor of the match: Christiana!!!!

Christiana was obviously the right choice for ole Will Thatcher. Can’t believe he blew it. What an idiot.

Christiana (PPBB) had the 2nd highest scoring plays of the week, just behind the Gypsies. It was less a balanced attack but more a game of studs. Achane (29.00) and Swift (24.50) gashed their opponents for TDs and hundreds of yards. Then Goedert (26.00) and the Jalen Hurts (20.62) remembered to throw the ball in their loss to the Giants. After those 4, it was a game of points where Christiana could get them, with Golden (11.70) and Waddle (12.82) scraping above 10 points each. Stafford was a tad embarrassing at 9.34, but it was enough!

Final Thoughts and Things

Siiiiiiirrrr Ulrich von Lichtenstein!!!!!!

Love that movie, y’all should check it out if you have the time.

Anyways, we are onto Week 7 and the search for NSA’s first win. Injuries are piling up and the byes are hitting hard. Who will stabilize and who will crumble. Will an angel rise? Who knows?!

8 more weeks until the playoffs!

Josh Allen Report:

Week	Points Scored	QB Rank	Weekly Rank	Year Long Rank
1	38.76	1	1	1
2	11.82	25	91	3
3	23.02	5	13	–
4	24.86	7	17	–
5	19.42	12	33	2
6	15.4	17	53	2

Still number 2 for the year, but looking less awesome when the #1 is Mahomes for only $63!

Standings

Team	Record	Points For
Big City Hillbillies	5-1	910.44
Kingmakers	5-1	826.32
River Gypsies	4-2	854.61
Putt-Putt Bogey Boys	4-2	820.63
Fulton Jail Inmates	3-3	753.26
Outlaw Nation	3-3	735.48
HAMR’D In The Stands	3-3	686.33
Twin City Tree Cats	2-4	814.65*
Troll Hunters	1-5	770.10
Northside Angels	0-6	750.55

P.S. – Not all my character work in this post was great, but there’s not too many characters in A Knight’s Tale!