Let the Skyfall, when it crumbles, we will stand tall… – Adele

That’s right Adele, when the sky crumbles, we will stand tall. That’s the story right now for Out of Commission(er), the Red Zone commissioner and yours truly. There comes a time of burnout at the office that can only be solved by throwing on a pack and walking across the Highlands of Scotland seeking absolution and, perhaps, maybe, a dram of something special indeed.

This year’s draft was one of some soul searching. For OoC(er), for the league, and for America. Fantasy players everywhere recoiled from the AI overlords, the ADP maximalists, the hot new thing, and reached back for the tried and true. The RB-focused squad.

Tradition. Well, most of us at least.

In honor of myself placing second 3 years in a row and making the championship 6 or something times total while only winning 2, we will be looking for some appropriate Scotch to rate the following drafts and drown my sorrows.

Each team will get their opportunity to plead their case, but at the end of the day, I’ll be the one making the pours. Let’s start strong. I’m drinking the Arran 10 Arran Barley. I also know nothing about whisky.

Big City Hillbillies

We will start with a word from our reigning champion. They may have cracked the cratur a little early.

Oops, Hillbillies opened the moonshine too early and the wallet too late – a throwback to many of the team’s prior drafts.

After starting with a few core pieces of last year’s championship team in Puka, JSN, and Lawrence, the Billies fell asleep during the hoedown. By the time they woke up, the only dance partners left were cousins and younguns.

Now, where I come from 0RB is what we call a town without an Arby’s but I’m hearin’ that’s also the strategy the Billies accidentally went and developed a hankerin’ for. Can Tuten, Price and Pollard fill the RB2/3 roles for BCH? Doubtful but there’s some upside there if you squint hard enough.

The Billies stacked enough Jags and Rams to give their grandaddy’s taxidermy collection a run for its money, which means this might be a playoff team if those are both top 5 offenses and BCH works the waivers a bit. Ladd, Waddle and Kittle rounded out an above average pass catching squad, but the RB production is likely to determine how far this team goes.

Your favorite pick for your team: Pat Mahomes for $248

Your biggest potential mistake: Cheaping out on RBs. Should’ve paid for Monty/Bucky

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Jadarien Price

Your favorite pick from any other team: Godwin for $3

Prediction of Own Record: 7 – 6

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? 302 Cadets

Who had the worst draft? Tie for Tree Cats and Troll Hunters. (Tho Trolls spent its final dollars well)

Scotch Rating

The Laphroaig 10. A classic peated whisky from Islay. Not super spendy, matching the Hillbillies late game, but a solid and well-known name who puts together the peaty flavour of the WR room the ‘billies assembled.

83.45/100 on Whiskybase.

Outlaw Nation

From the journals of Andrew Wheeler, MD

We’re going to mix objective and subjective into this review. Let’s start with my overarching strategy for this draft, then examine how it played out, also in the context of the general themes of this specific auction.

Big picture strategy: Spend big money on two (or three) high-tier RBs (specifically targeting Cook, Brown, Barkley, Henry, and K Williams). Spend whatever amount necessary to get Bowers. Sacrifice at QB (specific targets include Goff, Murray, and Willis). Sacrifice at WR since the position appears deep this year.

In-the-moment strategy: Try to survive the first 45 minutes of the draft with intermittent cell service, no wifi, conversations and interruptions to sign documents for a new car, and then also continue this draft while driving home on the 101. This led to me simply paying whatever became necessary when I encountered the confluence of: #1 a worthwhile target, #2 sufficient cell service in that instant, and #3 a moment of undivided attention.

How it went: I paid more than I budgeted for Brown (by $8), Barkley (by $8), Bowers (by $3), and Murray (by $6). But you know what, I got them! I didn’t find myself hurting for cash later on, so I am very pleased with the decision to simply stick it out and go over budget. Getting Jaylen Warren ($15, my RB3) and Rhamondre Stevenson ($12, my RB4) for peanuts later on despite, in my personal opinion, less appealing RB options like Brooks went for significantly more made me even more comfortable with overpaying for the dual hero RB approach. Willis ($8) went for under my expected budget as well, as did Christian Watson ($14, my WR3) and Quentin Johnston ($5, my WR4).

Based on my calculations, this is how the annual spend in our league has looked recently:

Positional spend	2024	2025
QB	26%	24%
RB	34%	33%
WR	32%	35%
TE	7%	7%
DST	0%	0%
Dead money	1%	1%

And here is the same data from Tuesday night:

Positional spend	2026
QB	23%
RB	38%
WR	31%
TE	6%
DST	0%
Dead money	1%

38 percent.

38 percent!

I’ll bet you thought we’d all forgotten, Tibstra. (I haven’t, nor dat flatline barrel)

Whether you are calculating your odds of sealing a carnal exchange with a colleague or whether you are allocating precious resources to hoist the Schadenfreude, it would appear that finding the hole is on all of our collective minds.

The league appeared to make a macro-level shift this year that (annoyingly) mirrored my own big picture strategy. But fear not! You will see why Outlaw Nation did just fine, despite this hurdle.

As a group, we have downgraded the importance of QB spending, though Maye’s $30 keeper pricetag is likely responsible for a fraction of a percent there. This is a multi-year trend. We also significantly downgraded the importance of WR from 35% to just 31% in one season, potentially due to the unusually strong health of RBs last year combined with unusually terrible health of WRs. TE shifting from 7% to 6% feels somewhat unimportant considering we lost last year’s ADP TE#3 (Kittle) to an Achilles tear, and among the young guard at TE in 2026, there is no obvious, established heir apparent just yet to assume Kittle’s ADP and draft monies. It’s just the big top-2 with Bowers and McBride.

The star of the show is obviously the RB position. We just spent 15% more money on RBs this year when compared with last year. Here’s a deeper dive, for the true sickos:

Tier	2026 $ spend	2025 $ spend	$ delta	% delta
RB1-2	$118.0	$110.5	+$7.5	+7%
RB3-7	$80.8	$78.0	+$2.8	+5%
RB8-12	$63.2	$56.0	+$7.2	+13%
RB13-17	$41.4	$35.8	+$5.6	+16%
RB18-25	$26.9	$21.5	+$5.4	+30%
RB26-35	$12.8	$5.5	+$7.3	+126%
RB36+	$1.5	$1.7	-$0.2	-7%

Just look at that last column! Getting a low-cost RB (league-wide RB3-RB4 territory in our beloved RedZone) was 126% more expensive this year than last year. One hundred and twenty-fucking-six percent more expensive. Whoa.

This is why, when I look around the league to judge draft quality, player value, and roster construction, I find myself generally gravitating most towards teams that prioritized RB early on in the draft, then did not necessarily return back over-and-over to the RB well many times. That strategy (returning over and over) was a value trap. RB3-7 on the whole represented the best “value” of the fantasy-relevant drafted RBs this year, and I am proud to say that two of those fine gentlemen belong to your dear old Outlaw Nation. Teams that were forced to grab RB after RB after RB later on in the draft generally paid quite handsomely for that experience, especially compared to previous years. This was not a great year, money-wise, to skip a hero RB and instead fill the void with a handful of RB3-4 caliber players. That genuinely came at a cost, and that’s not simply my opinion talking.

I feel this is quite long enough, so I’m going to wrap it up with the structured, rapid-fire responses.

Your favorite pick for your team: I am doubling down on my position from last year and calling my shot that Quentin Johnston ($5) will be a significant contributor to my team and seriously outplay his draft cost. I am a believer in the new-look McDaniels Chargers offense, and with QJ’s shallow depth of target (crossers, slants, etc) and YAC ability, I think he’s going to eat. As a bonus, I’ll undoubtedly get more excuses to use the Shot Fun. Win win!

Your biggest potential mistake: Biggest potential mistake: My WR2 is Emeka Egbuka. Undeniably talented, yes. Also has a toe injury. If he misses significant time, Christian Watson or Quentin Johnston will be playing a big role in my team.

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Chase Brown was the RB#1 overall last year in games that he played with Burrow. I am hoping to recapture that fire, and if he can be in that rarified air, this team will go far.

Your favorite pick from any other team: I am furious that I need to say this, but I think it’s D’Andre Swift ($30) for the River Gypsies. To me, that is probably the single best value RB pick in the entire draft. Fortunately, I am genuinely not a fan of pretty much any of his other players. Phew.

Prediction of Own Record: 4-10. Or was it 10-4? I can’t remember.

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? If Outlaw Nation doesn’t win… then it’s going to be Out of Commissioner. He sheds the second-place curse this year. (thank you thank you ON. You are a goodman)

Who had the worst draft? Unfortunately, I was not a fan of the Troll Hunters this year. TH spent a massive amount at QB (including keepering Daniels for $99) in a year where I think there were many nice, low-cost QB options. I have zero faith in the Cardinals and Jets, so Love being your top RB and Wilson being your top WR (Nabers is a total ? for me, his injury is nebulous and suspicious) is pretty tough, and the triple-TE flex approach is bold AF. Buuuut I’ve been wrong more often than right lately, so I guess we’ll see you in the ship!

Scotch Rating

A robust and intense sherried Speyside Single Malt Whisky matches up with Outlaw Nation’s focus and taste in the RB and Flex positions. The Aberlour A’bunadh.

86.64/100 on Whiskybase

Out of Commission(er)

The strategy for this year was to try to hew back from last years studs and duds, even though it took me rightfully to the championship match. Alas, it was not enough against the Big City Hillbillies, so some soul searching was in order.

I decided to go old school and try a balanced approach. I keepered Gibbs as the centerpiece of my build as I thought that he was now free of Montgomery and will be given free reign. $121 was steep, but with how Bijan went, it kind of worked out I think. After that the focus was on not spending too much (by buying Chase again) and focus on T2 RBs and WRs. That went out the window with the Taylor pick up for $85, but I won’t complain having two T1 RBs. Here’s hoping no injuries as I also wish for no injuries on my hike!

After the top two I had to sit and wait for value and WRs to be honest. Drake London and Chris Olave for around $50 dollars each seem, to me, good value and fill out a strong core team that is the opposite of boom or bust. Solid players putting up solid points.

After that it was all value and balance. Odunze, Fannin, and Shough to complete the stack were the main guys after reaching for Mahomes (may he play many games). Hopefully the Swizzle Blessing extends to the entire team. Was he at the wedding? (I just checked and he was!)

Overall I was pretty happy with my draft and more or less hit what I wanted. Solid team, if a bit spendy.

Rapid Fire:

Your favorite pick for your team: Honestly, I love Olave, and I hope he and his QB just light it up before hitting the club with the fat stacks Olave is now making.

Your biggest potential mistake: Going in on Jonathan Taylor with Gibbs on the team. I am very RB heavy. It can lead to great season-long production but also catastrophe if they get injured.

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Gibbs all the way. I live and die with Gibbs. Taylor can pick up the slack for the season, but Gibbs failing keeps me out of the ‘ship. Though who knows based on last year.

Your favorite pick from any other team: It’s a keeper, but Maye for FJI set him up with an insane WR group. The zero RB thing was wild, but hey, Maye will be great!

Prediction of Own Record: 8-6

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? Fulton Jail Inmates.

Who had the worst draft? I’ll echo ON with the Troll Hunters. the QBs are huge, but nothing else excites me. And they were spendy. Not $150 for Allen spendy, but ya know, spendy.

Scotch Rating

Arran Sherry Cask. Blast of Sherry for the RB room and a great whisky that I have brought back and drank. So good. One day I’ll hike the Isle of Arran. But for now, I’ll just keep drinking whisky from there.

85.18/100 on Whiskybase

Fulton Jail Inmates

The thoughts on the Red Zone in between renaming Lake Ontario

Troll Hunters – Must be trolling with that WR room. Nabers and Wilson are great but idk what to think of Nabers post injury and Matt Nagy offense. Josh Allen and Jayden Daniels will keep you in the playoff hunt.

Outlaw Nation – RB room will be great. I think Barkley will bounce back. Give me Chase brown for the triple stack. But wheels (pun intended) could fall apart fast come 10/23/26 double XP COD4 weekend that our short king loves so much. That QB room could get rocky fast.

90 Degree Putters – great Qb room and best rb room But that wr room is basically the packers wr room just packed full of WR2s. Just to be clear with a hurts stack is a negative. There is no wr1 on that team.

Tree Cats – going CTE stack is crazy. I do love that WR room.

River Gypsies – maybe next time handcuff the RB with domestic violence charges? Luckily RB room so good. But Rice is your best WR? Good luck with that.

Kingmakers – I think this team will be solid. No weakness other than I’m not sure how great rostering so many 30 year old WRs will go. But if the rookie WR hit it’ll be one of the best teams.

Out of Commission(er) – I don’t think keeping Gibbs was a great call. Would he go for more than $121? Maybe? But idk. But overall a really solid team that might struggle with depth.

Hillbillies – I realize he isn’t projected for the most but getting 4 legit wr1s is impressive. QB play might be the issue but if they play similar to last year this squad will be great.

302 Cadets – might be the only RB room weaker than mine. Bijan is amazing but I didn’t know anyone wanted Bucky in 2026. Love the McBride Loveland combo. Everytime I watch nine suck I think about how great Loveland was at Michigan.

Fulton Jail Inmates Self Assessment – not going to lie sent some screenshots of my start to a few people. Maye, Burrow, chase, JJ, and lamb is unbelievable. After that though? I hate my RB room. I’m just praying that 2 magically hit. But I’ll likely be in the trade market soon… actually I’m already ready. Send offers.

Your favorite pick for your team: Ceedee for $65. Went for $80 last year and I think this team is about to put up some crazy numbers on offense.

Your biggest potential mistake: RB. I reached for Dobbins and missed out on Brooks who I also really wanted.

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Burrow. If he stays healthy the burrow/chase stack will finally be fulfilled.

Your favorite pick from any other team: Mahomes for $254. Steal. Other than that Loveland for $36.

Prediction of Own Record: 9-5

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? BCH – love this squad. Probably the only wr room that can rival mine but also has Rams backfield locked up and I’m sure price, pollard, or Tuten will be serviceable.

Who had the worst draft? ????

Scotch Rating

The Ardbeg 10 Islay Single Malt. Heavily peated to match the WR-heavy draft, but a great whisky that’s on the top of the lists.

86.12/100 on Whiskybase.

Kingmakers

The Kingmakers once again executed their intended draft strategy to near perfection, drafting an elite RB1 to pair with the legendary CMC, two QB1s with top-5 potential, great WRs at a value, and high upside rookies, with all starters on top scoring offenses (Cowboys, Chargers, 49ers, Bills, Bengals, Patriots, Eagles, Buccaneers).

For months, LAC’s Omarion Hampton was set to be their keeper, but in a last minute pivot they decided to once again roll with the Kingmaker himself, Christian McCaffrey, for $83. This decision locked in huge value given CMC’s upside as well as knowing the two RBs above him went for $121 & $115.

Pairing Chase Brown and/or James Cook with CMC was the critical next step. Kingmakers had budgeted $80 for this move, and acquired James Cook for exactly that. While they had hoped Chase Brown would go for $70, Cook was nominated first and it was clear that Chase would definitely go in the mid 70s, so they pulled the trigger on the 2025 rushing leader and couldn’t be happier. Cook could definitely finish as the RB1 in 2026.

Four nominations later, one of the most exciting receivers in the league was about to go for $10 less than his AAV. This elite WR was not exactly in the game plan, but the Kingmakers seized the opportunity and drafted AJ Brown. The sky’s the limit for this clear-cut WR1 in New England, with runner-up MVP Drake Maye poised to take the next step.

Great QBs were the next targets. While initially targeting Justin Herbert or Dak Prescott to pair with a lesser QB such as Matthew Stafford or Jared Goff, the Kingmakers managed to acquire Herbert for only $51, which was almost $10 less than they expected to pay. They then rolled this savings into their QB2 spot drafting Dak Prescott for only $44. Two GREAT quarterbacks on two high powered offenses for only $95! It was at this point of the draft that the Kingmakers knew their team could be something special if they could execute the rest of the plan.

The criminally undervalued David Montgomery was a must draft player. Leaving DET for HOU, it was clear that he would be in line for a bellcow role in this offense that fed Joe Mixon just two years ago. Given the Texans incredible defense, Montgomery is set to smash, and the Kingmakers drafted him for less than expected at $28.

With 3 RBs locked, it was time to focus on other positions. After the Texans D/ST went for $2 without much competition, the Kingmakers decided to nominate the next best defense, the Denver Broncos, which they managed to hold onto for $1.

Shortly afterwards, Tee Higgins was nominated. A player the Kingmakers had REALLY wanted, but thought would go for $50. Surprisingly, they were able to draft this amazing WR as their WR2 for only $36. This was the Kingmakers’ favorite pick of the draft, as they had given up hope for Higgins after acquiring AJB.

With two flex positions to fill and $12 remaining, the Kingmakers were comfortable spending the rest on one player, but were just slightly outbid on several desirable players. Then, when Carnell Tate went for $8, the Kingmakers hesitated and missed the top rookie receiver of 2026. But they were still able to make excellent picks with Chris Godwin ($3), Stefon Diggs ($6), and Michael Wilson ($4). The Kingmakers are especially high on Godwin given the departure of Mike Evans and news of Emeka Egbuka’s turf toe; it was just two seasons ago that Godwin had started off the season as a top 5 WR before dislocating his ankle. Diggs has shown reliable production over the years, and could very well do it again in Washington operating as the WR2 behind Scary Terry. Michael Wilson was an unexpected pick, but the upside is definitely there; MHJ has been quite the disappointment considering his draft capital, so we’ll see if Wilson gets more opportunities to shine again this season.

To finish the draft, the Kingmakers REALLY wanted De’Zhaun Stribling, Keaton Mitchell, Jonah Coleman, and Dallas Goedert. Stribling has been a sensational rookie WR for the 49ers through the preseason, and could emerge as their WR1 given their other injuries. Mitchell could play the De’Von Achane role in Mike McDaniel’s high scoring Charger’s offense, where they’ve already reported their intention to take a hot hand approach to their RB room. The Broncos have praised Coleman for his performance in camp and the preseason; should the injury prone Dobbins get hurt, Coleman would have a strong chance to lead this backfield. And lastly, with the departure of AJB from the Eagles, Goedert is set to SMASH with the second most targets on the team, and potential to maybe even have the most targets; not to mention he had 11 TDs in 2025.

Overall, the Kingmakers crushed their draft strategy, assembling a team of exciting players on high octane offenses. Watch out, Red Zone.

Final Grade: A

Your favorite pick for your team: Higgins – did not expect to land him after taking AJB

Your biggest potential mistake: Not drafting Carnell Tate for less than $12.

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Christian McCaffrey

Your favorite pick from any other team: Maye for $30 is an insane keeper, otherwise Waddle for $20.

Prediction of Own Record: 10-4

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? Inmates or Hillbillies

Who had the worst draft? Trollhunters – Daniels ($99), Love ($55), and Wilson ($27) are risky picks on dysfunctional offenses this year.

Scotch Grade

The Laphroaig 10 Year Sheery Cask Finish. A non-standard bottling of Laphroaig aged in sherry casks, it keeps the smokiness underneat the sherry taste to compliment the strong RB room and WR room.

86.94/100 on Whiskybase

90 Degree Putters

For the second year in a row, Mrs. Putters is picking up the slack in the Putters household to provide raw, unfiltered draft day feedback.  Mr. Putters was woefully underprepared and appeared to base picks exclusively on last years performance. If he spent as much time studying draft boards or reading articles as he does reminiscing about the 18 holes he played 2 hours ago, maybe he wouldn’t have ended the draft with $16 (4% of his budget)!  Does he know that he can’t use that $ in real life buying logo balls at all the fancy clubs he visits?! 

While I wasn’t in “the tee box” aka “command center” (as a Putter, why doesn’t he call it “the green” or something…), I was able to catch the live stream / hear some reactions to picks…

Vision Board – pick players that wear green.. Reaction – somewhat successful, continue to watch the trade block for additional greenies.  Key pickups: Hurts, Devonta Smith, Breece Hall, Jordan Love, Eagles D, Lemon dude.  Missing: Barkley, T. Law. 

Your favorite pick for your team – Grabbing an expensive RB (Henry); shouldn’t need to play the RB carousal chasing a starter.  Prior years have chased a top WR and excited to have RBs solidified. 

Your biggest potential mistake: Having 4% of the budget left over but really not going after a slam dunk WR.  Concerned that lack of weekly research / using projections as a crutch will result in some high bench pts during a few games this season….

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Obvious pick might be Hurts (w/ D Smith dependencies) but I’m going Jeanty.  Need solid weekly touches and LV needs to stick to somewhat of a run-game.  He’s going to start every week and a high floor will be more important than roller coaster points. 

Your favorite pick from any other team: Cadets going for the TE strat.  So much cash on TEs (not as much as 2025 Gypsies) but $59/$36 is mandatory starters and they are limited to a flex spot.  While I love seeing it; I feel like it provides a solid floor to avoid bottom 2 teams, but tough to see heavy TE teams get into the top tier.  Extra Cadets pick: I’m thinking Evans goes for 1K yards again this year ($17 for 1K is value). 

Prediction of Own Record:  8W and 6L.  As with normal Putter luck, 3-4 of those wins will be with 90* scoring in the bottom half of teams.  Will be 2-3 wins above expected.

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is going to? I think team Outlaw Nation gets the blue bloods back in relevancy this year.  Looking at the team, I don’t think the players on ON would have won more than 2 games last year but new season, new chances and variety usually pays dividends.  QJ will have more 25+ games than goose eggs, calling it here!

Get those 8am Sunday tee times scheduled because noon kickoff will be here in no time!

Scotch Rating

The Johnnie Walker Green Label. 15-year blended scotch whisky to match the fairy balanced and moderate team from the Putters. Matched up with the green he was going for. Probably should have aimed for blue!

83.08/100 on Whiskybase

Fun note, I’ve walked by the historic family home of the Johnnie Walker whisky dynasty in Troon. Right next to the Royal Troon Golf Course. Which I texted the Putters about immediately!

River Gypsies

I’m sensing some body blows towards the Outlaws. Let’s find out!

Was I thrilled with my draft as it was happening this year? Absolutely not. No one player sticks out to me as someone I was excited to have. Part of that may be my severe lack of any type of research this year, meaning there was no single player I really wanted to have! I was just hunting for players going below value, and seeing where that took me. Honestly, when everything shook out in the end, I feel pretty good about where I landed.

I’ve noticed I tend to lean heavily RB, with several top RBs to have as a base for my team. Last year I knew I waited too long on QB and was just a couple bucks short on some QBs I really needed, that Evan stole from me… (Don’t worry, I’m not bitter at all) I knew this year I wanted better QBs, and I’m adequately satisfied with my room of Purdy, Goff and Jones. They will do the job I need them to do.

RB is where my team usually shines, and I think I’ve done that again. Five top 20 RBs, I could easily have at least three top 10 RBs scoring in any given week. And that right there is going to give me just enough of an advantage over my opponents to pull out a lot of crucial wins. Kenneth Walker is probably who I’m most excited about. Apparently, he is on the chiefs now and they are fairly good at scoring points, so let’s hope that continues! And just looking at the Dolphins roster, they will have to score some points, and I think Achane will be responsible for a lot of those! Jacobs, Etienne (Achane!) and Swift as my flex RBss should give me the advantage overall in flex weekly, and that’s where I will eeek out some much-needed close wins.

WR is the same sore spot it seems to always be for me. Rice as my WR1 and Zay flowers as my wr2 feels a little gross. Having a true wr1 over Rice would honestly make me feel like my team was prepared for a very deep run. But I got burned last year on injury to my top guy, so I guess let’s just see where we go. I wasn’t super thrilled about Adams as my third either, until IO said he actually wanted him, and now I’m calling him one of the better draft picks that was made 😉

Tyler Warren is just a solid pick to be there for injuries, byes, or bad matchups for other starters, where my player level won’t drop for a replacement. I’m going to be honest in that I had to just go and check which team he even plays for, but you know what, who cares if he is scoring me points?

Overall I felt better about my draft after looking back at all the squads after. No incredible picks, no terrible decisions, just a darn solid all around draft.

Your favorite pick for your team: Best draft pick is probably Tyler Warren for $18. Not someone I was looking to draft or honestly too excited about but getting the fourth best TE for that cheap price is just a hard deal to pass up. Will see how he prevails for my team, but just a solid value pick. Not going to win me the season alone, but I think will quietly do his part, and provide some much-needed flexibility along the way.

My second best draft pick was snagging the greatest defense of the Texans for the low price of $2 😉 Thank the lord we went through the hassle of running that draft pick back! That’s going to garner me at least one of my wins, and do just enough damage to IO to cause him an additional loss. That’s $1 extra he is going to regret not spending.

Your biggest potential mistake: Biggest potential mistake is waiting as long as I did on wr, and ending the draft with $15. Rookie move to leave that much money on the table. Honestly no excuse for it, just poor preparation. Although I usually wait on wr, last year I finally went bigger spending on Nabers just to lose him for the season like week 1… So I did the whole season and finished second with a worse wr group than I’m entering with this season. Hopefully this decision won’t come back to bite me.

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Rashee rice is going to be big. Need to have a WR1, so having him show up and fill that role for my squad will be crucial.

Your favorite pick from any other team: Garrett Wilson for $27 hurts. I’d love to have him in my squad for that price, honestly not sure what happened in the moment where I wasn’t bidding him up more. Although I’m not that in love with the troll hunters overall draft, I actually think he got three of the best value picks between GW, Kelce for $2, and Brian Thomas for only a buck!

Prediction of Own Record: 9-5/10-4 final record. I have a deep squad that can weather some byes and injuries more than others. It’ll be a battle for a playoff bye that I do think I’ll just miss out on this year, but I’ll solidly be in playoff position without needing to sweat it in the final weeks. Not throwing down enormous points, but a consistent squad that is going to do its damage. And we all know anything can happen in the playoffs. Getting there is step number one!

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? Sadgopher is looking damn strong. That QB and WR room is just terrifying. Going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Who had the worst draft? Indian outlaws surprisingly coming in with the most underwhelming draft. He didn’t have to tell me he was drafting from a car dealership and while driving down the 101 in rush hour for me to know something was off with his draft. It seems like his priorities have turned to caring more about having the right vehicle for his growing family, instead of dominating a FF draft! But, to each their own. Bowers for $73? Come on now, I wonder if he made the same mistake I made last year, and thought TE was 1.5PPR instead of only 1PPR… yikes, that’s going to bite. I don’t really love any of his picks, don’t see many value picks, mostly overpays in my book… But when he knows the guy he wants he’ll get it, so he better hope he’s onto something if he wants a shot at even squeaking his way into the playoffs this year. I expected more from him to not completely embarrass himself as a soon to be dad. It will be sad when the Wheeler baby is born into a world where IO just missed the FF playoffs. Luckily for his future child, I’m confident his dad abilities will be MUCH stronger than his FF drafting abilities 😉

Scotch Rating

The Glenmorangie 12-Year-Old Lasanta. Single Malt aged in some sherry casks to meet that RB focus the Gypsies were going for. 43% to make it smooth and on the weaker end, which matches my analysis. Solid. Just not great.

83.27/100 on Whiskybase

Twin City Tree Cats

….found after rummaging through the trash…

Your favorite pick for your team: Marvin Harrison Jr, $53 2024, $36 2025, $7 2026?? He’s going to be worth more than that I this season can feel it.

Your biggest potential mistake: Jonathon Brooks, he could be a total scrub for $20. He could be awesome or more likely he could be the JJ McCarthy for $45 of last season. Nein!!

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: Lamar Jackson, if those legs are rippin again I’ll be winning. If he struggles I’m going to be sobbing into my Josh Allen memorial pillow.

Your favorite pick from any other team: Saquan for $73 to outlaws. In hindsight I would rather have him for $74 and no brooks. He’s going to be top 5 this season.

Prediction of Own Record: 9-5, Dolly Parton style

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? Freaking Gypsies, that RB swindler

Scotch Rating

The Benromach 2014 Cask Strength in honor or the CTE squad of Skattebo and Dart. This will put you on your ass at 59.7% ABV.

85.84/100 on Whiskybase

Troll Hunters

…apparently, we have a Pokémon theme going here

Let’s go Red Zone Champions League. Who will be the Pokémon champion this year!! Why do fantasy football when we can play Pokémon or draft our Pokémon team. Maybe I’ll get some traction on this during the off season but for now I will pick your team mascot based on your draft/team vibes. (wat)

Starting off strong we have the Troll Hunters who best Pokémon mascot is 100% Tyranitar. It has the look of a giant monster that trolls would fear, while still fitting the “hunter” theme as a powerful predator. Just like this draft which extremely strong and is 100% unstoppable with giants like Josh Allen, Jayden Daniels, Javonte Williams, Garret Wilson, Laporta, Nabers, Mr. Swift and I can keep going!! Tyranitar is a unstoppable force and will be the Pokémon champion’s champion at the end of this season! (Misleading information flag – Tyranitar is quad weak to “Fighting” so any slight injury to their team will knock out the Troll Hunters for the second season in a row as they have zero depth at all positions).

Next we have 90* Putters who’s mascot is “Sirfetch’d”. Elevated from the Farfetch’d we know and love, he carries around his limp putter ready to turn it 90*. Honestly, this Sir had a solid draft. Hurts/Mayield at the help with strong RBs and WRs whats not to love. We’ll see how the weekly turnout is though as the squad spends most of the days playing 18 holes and swimming at the country club…

Outlaw nation is ready to drop the swagger and the shade, so they are going to be lead by the one and only “Krookodile”. Led by two Vikings (Murray and formaly Sammy D.) they aren’t afraid to drop the swagger to get the win. Next you have the shady with some Pit Steeler Vets Warren and Picken (former Steeler) who will get the job done no matter the cost. Lastly you have Brock Bowser… bowers who will rob you blind before you realize you left Oakland and ended up in Vegas. Watch your back when facing off against the Krook.

Rillaboom will lead off for the Big City Hillbillies. Rocking the drums and trying to make a name for themselves in the big city. Over the past few years they dropped the boom and rocked the Red Zone Championship League. Highly competitive Pokémon with their “overgrow” ability to perform well in any situation. Great Attack and limited downside has the Hillbillies set to perform well this year. Not the strongest but seems to overperform in all situations which is consistent with expectation for this years squad of Lawerence, Stafford, Puca, Kyren, Smith Nijgab, and the lot. Always concerning to play against this squad on a weekly basis.

Fulton Jail Inmates aka sadgopher needs to lock in their team emblem since goldy can only carry this team so far… Scrafty on the other had is basically the equivalent of a prison yard veteran. Veteran is key for this year’s team with Chase/Lamb/JJ helming the squad with Maye and Burrow tossing the soap for more TDs then we can count. Just be sure to not drop it or you might find yourself with a sore behind… from riding the pine as you are benched! What did you think I meant?? (Also Chat GPT 100% was like, “just don’t drop the soap” when I was searching for Pokémon… too much AI too much…).

Out of Commission(er) will have Slowbro take the lead on administrative duties while he galivants wherever he is traveling this week (or weekend). Just looking at the guy has him questioning why he is still doing this year after year. However, don’t let this Slowbro fool you as he just unlocked his mega form this year. Locking in second place even with the worst record the previous season. A few obvious studs with Gibbs/Taylor but will we see all star performances from these past starts (Mahomes/Olave) or young bucks like Shough or Drake London (if we can still call him “young”). Slow bro started out slow but finished strong so we’ll see if the Commish can pull it off again.

Next we have the obvious rank and file squad with the Falinks pokemon leading the 302 Cadets. Entire squad of cadets with no aspirations for higher positions. Even Bijan Robinson has pushed harder for the wildcat offense given him official command of the team. But no he lets Penix or Tua lead that charge where Bijan is the obvious leader but relegates himself to a simply RB. Then we have young QBs like Caleb Williams and Bryce Young, and other players like Bucky Irving, Mcbride, Loveland. What a bunch of cadets but who knows, together they might be the formation that is unbreakable later in the season!

Aegislash pokédex lore says it has chosen and guided kings throughout history, and will they have chosen the next Redzone League Pokemon Champion? Kingmakers chosen guard is Aegislash which has knighted quite the squad around him. The core players around the table have a chosen record fit for kings. However, have they been slain and left for dead? Godwin, Montgomery, and Antiono Brown, are they really ready to fight by kings??? Wait its actually AJ Brown and Herbert, CMC, Higgins, etc. Okay the choices are solid for any kingdom but will they be able to crown themselves champion? We will have to wait and see.

Incineroar would lead the Twin City Tree Cats even though they are a fire type. They have had enough zero point players to shotgun enough beers to “Tera Evolve” into a grass type just to fit the party vibes. Incineroar’s key ability intimidate will have every team benching to avoid the risk of pulling a zero (or minus) score. Key intimidating players like Lamar Jackson, Skattebo, AMON-RA, and others will have teams wondering is it worth it to play this week. Tree Cats also have a twin, Meowscarada is lurking in the shadows ready to put on a show we haven’t seen yet. Hampton, McMillian (aka Mcquillian for those who know), Marvin Harrison, and Dart are looking to put on a performance we can’t even imagine in our wildest dreams.

Overall, I am excited for the Redzone Pokémon Championship league this year and hoping we learn more about the teams in future weeks!!

Your favorite pick for your team: Josh Allen – honestly wasn’t expecting to acquire him for only $113 and was willing to go $125 if necessary. Jaylen wasn’t a #1 performing last year so needed Josh to coach him up right this year!

Your biggest potential mistake: Nabers (50) – with Allen and Jaylen +$200, spending attempting a low WR1 (maybe WR2) might be risking. Breaking this into 2 players would’ve been more depth which would look better on paper (but 100% won’t be needed… probably).

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends:  Probably needs Jeremiyah Love for low RB1 or RB2 each week. Last year we had Bucky Irving miss weeks and weeks and didn’t notice the injury flag when I drafted him twice… so we need minimum RB2 performance for a low RB 1 price tag.

Your favorite pick from any other team: Honestly loved (hated) Tree Cats pickup of Lamar for 73. If I could swap Lamar + ~40 draft dollars (Josh Jacobs, Breece, Bucky, McConkey, Higgins) for Josh Allen… I probably would. Top QB with solid RB/WR would be better for my team dynamic in retrospect.

Prediction of Own Record: 8 (wins) – 6 (Losses). Expected to lose weeks 7 and 14 with both QB byes week 7 and both RB byes week 14… mix in a few other Ls with byes and injuries we have to be a little pessimistic due to lack of depth…

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is going to?  Tough to pick the winner since 1) you need the privilege to play in the playoffs and 2) need your team to perform in the playoffs… but I think we might see a Sirfetch’d take the win. 90* Putters has been the bridesmaid multiple times so at some point we have to assume they will put everything together and get the illustrious schadenfreude.

Who had the worst draft? Oh look, we missed someone. There is Ludicolo, down by the river with the River Gypsies!! Unsure if they are even interested in participating in the Redzone Championship League this year and instead just relaxing down by the river sipping a beer… wait no a seltzer. Will we see a week of high quality singing, dancing, and luring us into a party or will this squad produce 1-4 points to avoid the illustrious honor of performing a shot gun for the league to see! Each player is capable of producing 20+ or minus 5 points… we’ll just have to wait and see how the river works its magic this season.

Scotch Rating

Glen Scottia Cambeltown Harbour for the Pokémon man. Something entirely different because of the heavy QB focus. Noted for its briny taste and aged in bourbon casks.

80.90/100 on Whiskybase

302 Cadets

I promised that I would rate the team without self rating with rotgut. And I follow through! Just kidding. Derek got in the review even with a week with 3 birthdays and other commitments. Here we go!

Your favorite pick for your team: B Rob

Your biggest potential mistake: Bucky Irving

Your lynchpin player upon which your whole season depends: B Rob

Your favorite pick from any other team: Wheeler’s pick of Bowers

Prediction of Own Record: 8-6

If your team doesn’t win the Schadenfreude who is it going to? BIG CITY, BIG TOE

Who had the worst draft? I’m going to say I had the worst draft because that way I’ve got no where to go but UP

Scotch Rating

I’ll agree with the Cadets and pick Johnnie Walker Red Label for his team. Other than Bijan, there’s not a lot exciting for the team. Entry level blended whisky.

66.24/100 on Whiskybase

Draft Wrap-Up

Wow, what a recap and in hindsight what a draft! We had multiple review criteria, ranging from data to Pokémon vibes and everything in between! And the draft only had like 5 times we had to roll back picks and re-draft defenses that were then picked up by someone else!

My final power rankings below are entirely based on the ratings for the Scotch. It sometimes looks approximately, right?

Ranking	Team	Scotch	Scotch Rating
1	Kingmakers	Laphroaig 10 Year Sheery Cask Finish	86.94
2	Outlaw Nation	Aberlour A’bunadh	86.64
3	Fulton Jail Inmates	Ardbeg 10 Islay Single Malt	86.12
4	Twin City Tree Cats	Benromach 2014 Cask Strength	85.84
5	Out of Commission(er)	Arran Sherry Cask	85.18
6	Big City Hillbillies	Laphroaig 10	83.45
7	River Gypsies	Glenmorangie 12-Year-Old Lasanta	83.27
8	90 Degree Putters	Johnnie Walker Green Label	83.08
9	Troll Hunters	Glen Scottia Cambeltown Harbour	80.90
10	302 Cadets	Johnnie Walker Red Label	66.24

Thanks for reading!